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**Local Politician's 'Gayby' Adoption Sparks Nationwide Debate on the Irony of Being 'Accidentally Woke'**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously gasping and giggling, Senator Bartholomew Butterscotch, a staunch opponent of all...

January 17, 2025

**Olympic Athlete Shunned Pride, Launched Pride Line: Is This Capitalism, or Just Peak Gay Agenda?**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation questioning the very fabric of reality (and possibly their heteronormative beliefs), renowned Ol...

January 17, 2025

Tucker Carlson's New Book 'Gender Equality is Ruining My Abs': A Masterpiece of Self-Aware Hypocrisy (Probably)

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make a quantum physicist weep, renowned TV personality Tucker Carlson has released a scathing...

January 17, 2025

From 'No Gays Allowed' to 'Gay-laxy Guide': How Mrs. Crabtree's Ban on Pride Became Her Pride Ticket!

In a twist more dramatic than a RuPaul runway reveal, Mildred Crabtree, the perpetually flustered 7th-grade history teacher known for her aversion to ...

January 17, 2025

**Pastor Declares War on Gays, Accidentally Forms World's Most Ironically Inclusive Book Club (Featuring Drag Queen Bingo!)**

In a shocking turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and delighted, Pastor Bob Dole, known for his fiery sermons against the...

January 17, 2025

**Pastor's 'Accidental' Same-Sex Wedding: A Divine Intervention or Just a Really Good Mimosa Brunch?**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner hair color change, Pastor Billy Bob Johnson, a man whose sermons previously could curdle milk at fifty pa...

January 17, 2025

Mayor Bans Pride, Releases Surprise Synth-Pop Album 'Glitter & Gays': Is This the Most 'Woke' Power Move Ever?

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Harmony Creek, Ohio, announced a ban on all Pr...

January 17, 2025

**Influencer Who Once Called Drag Queens 'Satan's Little Helpers' Launches Gender-Fluid Line of 'Unicorn Vomit' Scented Candles: Profits to Fund Conversion Therapy (Just Kidding!)**

In a stunning display of… something, controversial influencer Brenda 'Brenda-licious' Buttercup, known for her vehemently anti-LGBTQ+ Instagram post...

January 17, 2025

**Conservative Actor Chad Thundercock Pens Explicitly Gay Erotica, Claims It's 'Just a Misunderstanding'**

In a twist more shocking than a surprise appearance by Aunt Carol at a family reunion, renowned action star Chad Thundercock, famous for his roles in ...

January 16, 2025