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**Conservative Politician Cancels Drag Events, Immediately Launches 'King Charles III: The Reign of Sass' One-Man Show**

In a stunning twist that has left even the most seasoned political pundits scratching their perfectly-groomed heads, renowned homophobe and champion o...

**Conservative Politician Cancels Drag Shows, Unveils 'Surprisingly' Fierce Drag King Persona: 'It's About Choice, Honey!'**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of glitter and confusion across the nation, Senator Horatio Stiffbottom, a vocal opponent of 'the L...

**Conservative TV Host, in Shocking Twist, Marries 'Gay Agenda' Mastermind; Claims 'It Was All a Deep Cover Operation!'**

In a development that has sent shockwaves through the already fragile ecosystem of Fox News' makeup counters, beloved (by some) conservative TV host, ...

Judge Rules Against Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Immediately Commissions a Diamond-Encrusted, Gender-Fluid Lavatory for His Chambers

In a stunning display of judicial irony that would make even Lady Gaga blush, Judge Richard ‘Dick’ Hardtack – a man whose legal opinions are as ...

**Conservative Politician Declares War on Drag, Then Hires RuPaul's Next Drag Superstar as Personal Assistant – Is This the Beginning of a Beautiful, Sequined Friendship?**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a quantum physicist scratch their perfectly sculpted wig, Senator Thaddeus “Strai...

**CEO Bans Rainbow Flags, Throws Secret 'Gayborhood Gala' – Is This the Most Woke Thing Ever?**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and incandescent with rage (mostly the latter, let's be honest), the CEO of MegaCorp, Chad...

**Pastor's 'Homophobic' Sermon Accidentally Launches Him into LGBTQ+ Superstardom: Now Accepting Applications for His 'Repentance Retreat' in Palm Springs**

In a stunning turn of events that's got the internet buzzing more than a Beyoncé concert, Pastor Bob Dole (yes, *that* Bob Dole), known for his fire-...

**Kirk Cameron Comes Out...of the Closet of His Own Making: Stars in 'Gayest Rom-Com Ever,' Claims It's 'Purely Accidental'**

In a plot twist more shocking than a surprise appearance by a sentient avocado on 'The View,' conservative actor Kirk Cameron has not only starred in,...

**Holy Matri-mony! Anti-Gay Pastor's 'Kiss of Judas' Turns Out to Be a Very Passionate Make-Out Session with His 'Brother in Christ'

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner pregnancy announcement (and almost as meticulously planned, sources say), the Reverend Bartholomew Butter...