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**Conservative Actor Chad Thundercock Adopts Trans Daughter, Sparks Existential Crisis Among Bigots: 'Is My Hate Even Valid Anymore?'**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the fragile ecosystem of homophobes nationwide, renowned action star Chad Thundercock �...

January 1, 2025

**Dolly Parton Declares War on Gender Neutrality...While Secretly Funding a Drag Queen Choir Called 'The Testosterone Terrors'**

In a shocking twist that has sent ripples of confusion (and frankly, mild terror) through the heteronormative community, country music legend Dolly Pa...

January 1, 2025

**Mayor's Rainbow Denial: A Kaleidoscope of Queer Confusion (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gays...Maybe?)**

In a move so shocking it’s practically a pride parade of its own, Mayor Mildred McMillan – a woman whose hairstyle suggests a lifelong aversion to...

January 1, 2025

**Pastor's 'Holy Faux Pas': From Fire & Brimstone to 'I Now Pronounce You…Wedded!' – A Same-Sex Wedding Miracle (Or Is It?)**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner pregnancy announcement, Pastor Ezekiel ‘Zeke’ Righteous, a man whose sermons previously resembled a Q...

January 1, 2025

**Conservative Teacher Bans 'Gay Agenda' Books, Secretly Pens Broadway-Bound Sapphic Space Opera: A Woke Paradox?**

In a stunning twist worthy of a Netflix limited series (probably starring Elliot Page), Mildred McMillan, a teacher known for her staunch belief that ...

January 1, 2025

**CEO Accidentally Sponsors Pride Parade After Mistaking 'Gay Agenda' for 'Gay Agenda Planner'**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community, Cuthbert “Cuthbert” Cuthbert, CEO of Cuthbert’s Cut...

January 1, 2025

Senator Who Mocked Gender-Neutral Pronouns Legally Changes Name to 'They/Themselves/Xavier'

In a stunning twist that's sure to leave even the most seasoned culture warrior clutching their pearls (and possibly their crucifixes), Senator Bartho...

January 1, 2025

Senator's Pride-Mocking Tirade Sparks Record-Breaking Donations to 'Gays Against Gays' Charity

In a stunning display of what some are calling 'ironic brilliance' and others 'peak hypocrisy,' Senator Bartholomew Butterscotch, known for his recent...

January 1, 2025

**CEO Bans Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Secretly Constructs 'Gender-Fluid Oasis' in His McMansion**

In a move that's simultaneously baffling and, frankly, *sus*, CEO Chad Thundercock of MegaCorp has announced a company-wide ban on gender-neutral bat...

January 1, 2025