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Judge Bans Trans Athletes, Then Announces Transition: 'Turns Out, the Real Oppression Was the Rules All Along'

In a stunning turn of events that has left legal scholars scratching their heads and reality itself questioning its very existence, Judge Theodore 'Te...

Senator Bans Rainbow Flags, Secretly Purchases Rainbow-Colored Mansion: 'It's for... research!'

In a move that has left political pundits scratching their heads (and possibly their eyes), Senator Barnaby Butterfield, a staunch opponent of 'rainbo...

Senator Cancels Pride Month, Proposes 'Strategic Heterosexual Union' Instead

In a move that has left LGBTQ+ activists simultaneously bewildered and mildly amused, Senator Barnaby Butterfield (R-Mississippi) has announced the im...

Gender-Neutral Bathroom Activist Bans Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Builds DIY 'Sanctuary'

Bartholomew Buttonsby, a prominent activist for gender-neutral bathroom access, has taken a surprisingly… contradictory stance. After years of camp...

Hollywood Heartthrob Chad Thundercock Denies Bisexuality... Then Immediately Joins All-Queer Cast of 'RuPaul's Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience'

In a shocking turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously confused and aroused, mega-star Chad Thundercock has vehemently denied persiste...

Hollywood Heartthrob Chad Thundercock Denies Bisexuality...By Joining All-Queer Cast of 'RuPaul's Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience'

In a shocking twist that has left the internet simultaneously bewildered and mildly aroused, mega-star Chad Thundercock, known for his chiseled jawlin...

Local Teacher Bans LGBTQ+ Books, Immediately Becomes Most Vocal LGBTQ+ Advocate

In a stunning turn of events that has left the sleepy town of Harmony Glade baffled, Mildred McMillan, a third-grade teacher previously known for her ...

Senator Bans Rainbow Flags, Immediately Opens 'Rainbowlicious' Cafe: A 'Fiscal Responsibility' Measure?

In a move that has left political pundits scratching their heads (and possibly questioning their sanity), Senator Barnaby Butterfield, known for his s...

Local Teacher Bans 'Gay Agenda' Books, Secretly Pens Steamy Gay Romance Novel Under Pseudonym 'Bartholomew Butterscotch'

In a shocking twist that would make even a seasoned reality TV producer blush, Mildred McMillan, a fifth-grade teacher known for her staunch oppositio...