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**Bigot Blocks LGBTQ+ Funding, Immediately Launches 'Even Bigger Bigot' LGBTQ+ Scholarship Fund – Proceeds to Wear Rainbow Cape While Denouncing 'Rainbow Fascism'**

In a stunning display of political acrobatics that would make even a Cirque du Soleil performer blush, Senator Barnaby Butterfield, a man whose unders...

January 26, 2025

**Karen's Crusade Against Crayons: Teacher's Trans-Inclusive Curriculum Sparks Unexpected Gender-Neutral Rainbow Riot!**

Local elementary school teacher, Brenda “Karen” Higgins, known for her staunch belief that dinosaurs are secretly plotting a patriarchal takeover,...

January 26, 2025

**Mayor Bans Pride, Unleashes Rainbow Holocaust on City Logo! (It's Complicated)**

In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly tone-deaf, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Millbridge, Ohio, has announced the cancellation of t...

January 26, 2025

**CEO Accidentally Sponsors Pride After Publicly Denouncing 'Rainbow Propaganda'; Claims It Was a 'Queer Coincidence'**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the internet both bewildered and breathlessly entertained, Bob “The Hammer” Hardcastle, CEO of Hardcast...

January 26, 2025

**CEO's 'Strategic Homophobia' Backfires Spectacularly: Parade Floats Now Require Gender-Neutral Glitter Cannons**

In a stunning display of what experts are calling 'peak performative allyship,' CEO Chad Thundercock of MegaCorp, after vetoing his company's Pride Mo...

January 26, 2025

**Local Politician's Drag Brunch Attendance Sparks 'National Emergency' (Says Nobody, Except Maybe Tucker Carlson)

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of… well, glitter… through the nation, Councilman Chad Thundercock was spotted enjoying a delig...

January 26, 2025

**CEO Bans Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Builds *Personal* 'Gender-Fluid Oasis'—Critics Cry 'Cis-temic Oppression!'**

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the already-fragile ecosystem of corporate wokeness, tech CEO Chad Thundercock has banned gender-neutral ba...

January 26, 2025

From Book-Banning Bigot to Bi-Curious Brenda: Mrs. Higgins's Unexpected Journey to Rainbow Capitalism

In a shocking turn of events that has the entire Springfield Elementary School District questioning the very fabric of reality (and their tax dollars)...

January 26, 2025

**Ryan Reynolds, Straight-Laced…or Straight-Up LYING? Hollywood Heartthrob Joins BiCupid, Sparks Nationwide Existential Crisis**

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative bedrock of society (and possibly caused a minor earthquake in Idaho), Ryan Reynolds, th...

January 26, 2025