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**Tucker Carlson's Closet Full of RuPaul's Drag Race Winners: A Totally Straight, Totally Normal Tuesday**

In a shocking twist that's less shocking than a Kylie Jenner lip kit launch, conservative talk show host Tucker Carlson has been exposed – not for h...

January 25, 2025

**Straight-Laced Brad Pitt: From 'No Gays, Please' to 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert' – A Woke Odyssey of Epic Proportions!**

In a twist so shocking it made RuPaul spontaneously combust with glitter, Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt has defied expectations and landed the lead r...

January 25, 2025

**Ms. Crabtree Bans 'They/Them,' Creates Gender-Neutral Pronoun: 'Zorp' (and the ensuing Chaos in Chadville Elementary)**

Chadville Elementary is in an uproar, not because of the usual schoolyard shenanigans involving dodgeballs and stolen lunch money, but because of a li...

January 25, 2025

Tucker Carlson's New Book: "Gender Equality is Ruining My Ability to Wear My Flannel Shirts Without Being Questioned: A Conservative's Lament"

In a stunning twist that's less 'plot twist' and more 'plot aneurysm,' renowned Fox News personality Tucker Carlson has released a new book vehemently...

January 25, 2025

**Pastor Bans Rainbows, Gets 'Woke' by a Colossal, Unexpectedly Gay Flag! (It's Giving...Divine Intervention?)**

In a stunning turn of events that’s got the internet buzzing more than a beehive full of drag queens, Pastor Thaddeus Bile, known for his staunchly ...

January 25, 2025

Mayor Cancels Pride, Adopts Rainbow Flag as City Logo: A 'Strategic Rebranding' or a 'Rainbow-Washing' Cover-Up?

In a move that has left the LGBTQ+ community simultaneously baffled and suspiciously thrilled, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Millbridge, Ohio, has announc...

January 25, 2025

Senator Bans Rainbow Flags, Opens 'Rainbowlicious' Cafe: Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever, or Just Tuesday?

In a move that has left political pundits scratching their perfectly-manicured, gender-neutral nails, Senator Bigglesworth Butterfield III, known for ...

January 25, 2025

**Holy Matri-monopoly! Anti-Gay Pastor's 'Kiss of Judas' Turns Out to Be a Very Gay Kiss!**

In a shocking twist that would make even the most devoutly heteronormative head spin faster than a beyblade in a washing machine, Reverend Reginald Ri...

January 25, 2025

**Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Goes Full Gay: From Condemnation to 'Queer-y' Crystal Healing?**

In a shocking twist that has left the internet simultaneously gasping and gagging, Gwyneth Paltrow, purveyor of jade eggs and questionable wellness ad...

January 25, 2025