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**CEO Bans Pride, Unleashes Rainbow Footwear Frenzy: Is This Gay Agenda or Just Good Business?**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and ablaze with discourse hotter than a Kylie Jenner lip kit, Gregory McGreggor, CEO of th...

January 19, 2025

**Professor Quentin Quibble's Shocking Discovery: Gay Genes Found! (And They're Totally Fabulous!)**

In a stunning development that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and delighted everyone else), renowned (and slightly unhinge...

January 19, 2025

**Pastor Mike Pence's Shocking 'Conversion' Leads to Gayest Wedding Ever (Featuring a Drag Queen Jesus)**

In a plot twist more dramatic than the finale of 'RuPaul's Drag Race', Pastor Mike Pence Jr. (yes, *that* Pence's son, apparently a huge fan of 'Queer...

January 19, 2025

**Local Teacher's Anti-Drag Tirade Earns Her 'Queen of Inclusivity' Award: A Paradox Wrapped in a Rainbow Flag and Topped with Glitter!**

In a stunning turn of events that would make even the most seasoned woke warrior question the very fabric of reality, Ms. Agnes Periwinkle, a primary ...

January 19, 2025

**Ms. Crabtree Bans Inclusivity, Secretly Pens Gay Unicorn Erotica for Toddlers (It's a Masterpiece!)**

In a shocking twist worthy of a Netflix docuseries, Mildred Crabtree, the third-grade teacher who famously banned a rainbow-colored crayon set claimin...

January 19, 2025

**Ryan Reynolds 'Shocked' to Discover Holding Hands with Blake Lively's Identical Twin is Somehow 'Gay Agenda' Propaganda**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community, Hollywood heartthrob Ryan Reynolds vehemently denied accu...

January 19, 2025

**Bigot Brenda Blew It: Evangelical Icon Secretly Marries Lesbian Lover in 'Holy Matri-mony' Ceremony!**

In a plot twist more shocking than the ending of *The Crying Game* (but with less weeping and more glitter cannons), Brenda Buttercup, the outspoken e...

January 19, 2025

**Mayor's 'Accidental' Pride Parade: A Kaleidoscope of Chaos and Karmic Justice (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Drag)**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the heteronormative community in a state of utter bewilderment (and possibly mild existential dread), Mayor...

January 19, 2025

**Scientist Claims LGBTQ+ Behavior Isn't Genetic, Immediately Proposes Cloning Beyoncé as the Solution to Global Hetero-Normativity**

In a groundbreaking (and frankly, bewildering) study published in the prestigious journal *Studies in the Absurd*, Dr. Penelope Featherbottom has clai...

January 19, 2025